Originally published on four moms May 20, 2009
It’s evening and I pull up to the house and see the lights on upstairs. I am coming home from yoga, a brief retreat from the wonderful demands of stay at home motherhood. I am feeling renewed and relaxed, having indulged an hour and a half to my body, mind and spirit.
Surprised, I see the garage door open and my husband standing there with our daughter, now 16 months. I come up to the stairs and see the remains of tears cried in my absence on her cheeks. I take her in my arms, kiss her soft cheek with great love. She cried while you were gone he relays. I tried everything, even feeding her ice cream but she just wouldn’t cheer up. You didn’t take your cell phone, so I couldn’t call you. (Yes that blasted cell phone we got solely for the purpose of me being gone from the kids and I left the house without it, thinking it unnecessary, as she loves being with her daddy so.) My heart is breaking that she missed me and I wasn’t there, she is relieved to accept the comfort of my presence. As a parent I try so hard to avoid this type of situation, preferring to let my kids grow into separation as they are ready, yet here I am, holding a baby girl who clearly felt forsaken by her mother. I am thinking about verses read in this weeks bible study…
14 But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me,
the Lord has forgotten me.”
15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
As a mother, I feel such great love for my children, it is hard to imagine a more protective, nuturing love. To think about forgetting my nursing baby and having no compassion for the children I have born at first seems incredulous. Yet, upon reflection, I do so, in small and large ways all the time. Such are my failings as a human. The only way I can even begin to muster up enough compassion for my children is by being filled with the spirit. As a parent, I need all the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control I can get. Thankfully, even when we fail those who love us and those we love fail us, we have a God who grants us forgiveness. We have a God who just IS these things all the time and that despite our failings, we have a heavenly father, who always loves us and promises never to leave us!
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Father God
“I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Jesus